Good God, be quiet. You couldn’t sing slop up a dark alley. And I think you’re hurting the baby - my mother, 1986
Why are you people doing this to me? Are you deliberately planning social events which will require me to sing for the express purpose of tormenting me?
I have a terrible voice. And when I say “terrible”, I mean that my singing voice causes organ failure & spontaneous abortions in onlookers. Its effect on the male reproductive system is more difficult to ascertain, but I’m fairly sure that my rendition of “Welcome To The Jungle” on Saturday night had a deleterious effect on every sperm count within a 10-mile radius. Unless you’re secretly planning to deploy my voice as a weapon against your enemies, or to save yourself a trip to Planned Parenthood, surely we can find something else to do.
P.S. For those gentlemen who were in attendance the night I channeled Axl Rose - my apologies to your future wives.